and enough books to occupy my wandering mind.
and a boyfriend to love
when slow human walk in front of fast human bad thing happen
it’s so difficult to be a recovering self harmer, then relapsing, feeling like shit because you did it, then relapsing again. it feels like every time i take one step, cutting makes me take 3 more back and i’m not getting anywhere. i’m starting to feel hopeless.
ugh. maybe i just need this weekend to come sooner.
i just get so tired of having to try for everyone.
i’m tired of being me. i’m tired of always jumping to conclusions, when i don’t even try. i’m sick right now, like so sick that typing this hurts me, but i feel like i need to go out with everyone tonight to fireworks or else everyone will talk about me or hate me. i can’t even help it either. i’m in so much pain right now, the sound of the keys on my keyboard are giving me headaches, let alone leaving and going to watch fireworks wit my loud friends. i feel like things are the same as they were 6 months ago; everyone left me out when i was with zach, but the difference is, i don’t have him anymore. i don’t really have anyone anymore and it hurts so much to think that the girls i’ve known since 4th and 6th grade are moving on.
but there i go again, jumping to conclusions. i’m just being fucking ignorant like always. i hate myself so much.
This is so sad, well done society.
why are allll dese posts relevnt to my life